Everyday Micro-aggression, which you might not realise...

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Jisu Park
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Jisu is a student from BSocSc&LLB programme. She is a non-LBTQI+ ally, who wills to work for LGBTQI+ rights and protection after graduation. ​​

Summary
This article introduces the effect of microaggression on LGBTQI+ community on both personal and societal level. It tells how the unconscious and reckless remarks against LGBTQI+ comment could leave them marginalised and vulnerable. 

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Unseen Everyday Micro-Aggressions
*This article is written with the personal testimonials of people who either were subjected to or witnessed the micro-aggression. The names used in the articles are aliases. *


Microaggression refers to commonplace daily verbal, behavioural or environmental slights, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative attitudes towards stigmatised or culturally marginalised groups [1]. Unlike outright aggression, microaggression is subtle and oblivious to both the aggressor and the victim; however, the psychological and societal effect of microaggression is equivalent to that of outright aggression. Within the LGBTQI+ community, microaggressions reduce a person’s capacity to be honest about their sexuality and sexual orientation by creating a hostile environment. It further reinforces the heteronormativity in the society of evolving relationship norms. Unfortunately, in a conservative Hong Kong society, diversity in gender and sexual orientation is still an estranged concept, especially to older generations. Hence, despite their adverse effects, both direct aggression and micro-aggression against the LGBTQI+ community is prevalent in Hong Kong society. This article explores personal accounts of different experiences of micro-aggression against the LGBTQI+ community and their impacts on individuals and wider society. 


Sarah
Sarah is a non-binary individual. One day S was filling out the application for a job. Then S found that there are only three prefixes - Mr., Mrs., and Ms - to define oneself. S does not identify oneself with any of those prefixes. S, however, must choose one because it was a mandatory field. S reluctantly puts in Ms., but S feels as if one’s entire gender identity is rejected. 

Sarah’s experience is an example of microaggression, where the aggressor is oblivious to the act of aggression. Here, only after acknowledging how S must have felt, can we recognise that binary gender prefixes could amount to micro-aggression. With society’s deeply rooted binary norm, people are usually unaware of how such a minor thing could harm society-wide understanding of gender diversity. Thus, they unconsciously assume that others would identify themselves as either male or female. Such binarity thinking is detrimental as it could marginalise certain individuals who identify themselves outside the binary gender and induce them to think that they do not belong in society. 


Adam
Adam is a homosexual cis-gender male. He met his partner recently, so he talked about it with his friends. One of his friends, who were unaware of A’s sexual orientation, asked, “how did you meet your girlfriend”. A felt torn between wanting to be candid and open about his sexuality and being afraid of the friend's judgement. He ends up fabricating the story and feels guilty.   


Chris
Chris is a heterosexual cis-gender male. He loves putting on make-up and dressing himself to look pretty. One day he tried the trendy make-up by Kylie Jenner and went outside to meet his friends. In MTR, he hears some people saying, “I bet $1000 that he is gay”. 

What Chris’ case shows is how some people relate femininity to a stereotypical characteristic of “gay” people, albeit Chris is not an LGBTQI+ individual. Despite the fact that one’s personality or physical characteristics do not define one’s sexual orientation, there is a general misunderstanding that homosexual individuals are more inclined to the characteristics of the opposite sex: gays to be more girlish than straight guys and lesbians to be more boyish than straight girls. The most common examples would be presuming that a girl would be bisexual, lesbian or transgender if she has short hair and boyish clothes, that a guy having long hair and putting make-up is queer, and that a guy with a high-pitched voice and feminine accent would be gay. Although sexual orientation is distinctive to one’s gender identification, people misconceive that one pursues homosexuality because one wills to be a different gender. Such microaggression is harmful not just to LGBTQI+ community but non-LGBTQI+ community: first, it reinforces the misconception that queer people is prone to pursue gender behaviours opposite of their sex. Second, it prevents free expression or pursuit of activities connoted with specific gender norms.


Jess
Jess is a bisexual cis-gender female. She recently came out to her best friend, Betty. Her friend replied, “you’d better not like me”. For Jess has always thought of Betty as her only best friend, J could not believe that B thought J would perceive B as a potential romantic partner just because she came out. Despite B’s humorous tone, J is hurt and feels as if their friendship will never be the same. 

Indeed,  LGBTQI+ people could be hindered from establishing casual and comfortable friendships with same-sex people lest others feel uncomfortable about their sexual orientation. Though the person would have been making a pun like B, it could instil fear in LGBTQI+ people that their genuine interest in people could be interpreted as a romantic gesture. 

The experiences of Sarah, Adam, Chris and Jess are the most prevalent forms of micro-aggressions that people experience on daily basis. From a simple assumption of one’s sexuality to the mockery of misformulated stereotypes, any acts or words spoken about the LGBTQI+ community could be a microaggression, whether they were said or acted to their face. While LGBTQI+ people are effectively precluded from marriage and forming a family, LGBTQI+ people are sometimes even forced to convert, get married to the ones they do not want, or even told: "it is simply a phase". Here, we must understand that once micro-aggression is left unacknowledged and abused within society, the progression in gender equality and LGBTQI+ rights would deter. We should, therefore, reflect on ourselves as to whether we have unconsciously engaged in micro-aggressions by generalising and assuming others’ sexuality based on what heteronormative society has educated and dictated upon us. Indeed, a minor change could change the prospect of LGBTQI+ rights, and the slightest recognition could change how they are treated in society. 

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References
[1] Sue, D. W. (2010). Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation (1st ed.). Wiley.

[2] Woo, A. (2021, June 15). How Microaggressions Affect the LGBTQ+ Community. NewYork-Presbyterian. https://healthmatters.nyp.org/how-microaggressions-affect-the-lgbtq-community/